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I am a Practitioner of 'The 7e Way of Leaders' where a Leader will Envision, Enable (ASK for TOP D), Empower, Execute, Energize, and Evolve grounded on ETHICS!

Monday, January 18, 2016

Daily Lessons from Life 17 January 2016 - More seniors being cheated by their kids

"More seniors being cheated by their kids - The Sunday Times 17 Jan 2016

Social workers are seeing more senior citizens who have been cheated or financially abused by their children.

The children may have tricked or talked the parents into selling their home, often with the promise that the parents can live with the children in the children's home. But after taking the sale proceeds, they treat the parents shabbily, some even throwing the parents out.

There are also cases where children hold a parent's ATM card or manage their finances, as the parent may be too frail to go to the bank or is unfamiliar with the banking system. But the parent's life savings get wiped out as the children help themselves to the money.

TRANS Safe Centre, a charity specialising in helping abused elderly people, dealt with 11 seniors who suffered some form of financial abuse last year. In 2008, it had only two such cases, its senior social worker Mrs Chua Yixin told The Sunday Times.

Care Corner Project StART, another of the three agencies that specialise in helping those affected by family violence, estimates that it had about 20 such new cases last year, a "considerable" rise over the last few years, its team leader Kristine Lam said.

Pave, another family violence specialist centre, does not track the number of seniors who have been financially abused, but said the issue is definitely of concern. This is because social workers say that the cases reported are but the tip of the iceberg. Parents not only fear they will get the children in trouble if they go to the police, but also worry that the children will cut off ties if they go public.

And even when they seek assistance, it is often for financial aid or to find a place to stay for themselves or the abusive child. When doing so, they keep mum about how they have been exploited.

Said Mrs Chua: "The elderly may not even see this as abuse, but as their bad karma to have an unfilial child. They think it's shameful to tell others and they don't know what can be done about it."

Social workers say the financial abuse cuts across all income groups.

Mrs Chua said many such abuse cases come to light only when the other children smell a rat.

For instance, when the parents are not properly looked after, or when the child who is suspected of cheating the parent prevents siblings from having any contact with the parent."
A version of this article appeared in the print edition of The Sunday Times on January 17, 2016, with the headline 'More seniors being cheated by their kids'."
THIS is a VERY SAD SITUATION! YET, it would had been great to read MORE about 'why did the relationship came to THAT?' Also, to share SOME protections against SOME common tell tale signs of potential abuses of seniors by their kids!
Lessons for me are:
1. 'morally wrong actions' SHOULD be made 'criminal' by our laws as laws were create to PROTECT people from getting hurt from all actions, immoral actions included. NO?;
2. 11 cases and 20 over cases in 2015 reported by the 2 NGOs/VWOs in this news report are NOT significant in the scheme of things though the increase was significant; and to EACH victim it would harms dearly and deeply if he/she is still mentally clear minded!;
3. in those cases where the kid/kids involve Lawyers to draft 'dubious authorization letter', maybe the lawyers SHOULD be the front-line, unfair burden some may say, checker for ANY SUCH 'requests' to ask a few pertinent questions like: do the 'victim' has other children, the other children MUST be present and present their cases on WHY they should be excluded, qualified psychologist/doctor must be present to certify that the 'victim' is of good mental health, etc. to 'discourage' any such 'tearing the family apart' actions?
It is a very personal and emotional issue to deal with by ALL involved. So, special training and awareness creation would be helpful for ALL.
Bless the victims and shame to the abusers, who must be made to pay!

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