Daily Lessons from Life 14-15 January 2011 - Losing Control Emotionally!

I was too tired after a high school reunion dinner with my wife's classmates. These are a group of high achievers from one of the top schools in Singapore. All have done well in their respective career and personal lives! It does reflect the values of the school they were schooled in. Can I really blame parents for wanting to send their children to such school through all means?

I will leave it to the parents to decide...

15 January 2011 - Losing Control Emotionally

I decided to use this blog as a therapy for my personal failing this evening instead of commenting on another news headline.

I was at the multi-storey car park of a rather popular shopping mall with my wife and 2 of our kids. I managed to get into a dead end and had to reverse out. In the process I delayed the movement of the traffic somewhat. Then a pregnant lady and her husband appeared in front of my car and I signalled them to cross the path. Their car were just 10m away and I was happy that I will be able to park there after they leave. Someone honked at me at this juncture and I ignored it. Then as I was waiting for the couple whom I had given way to get to their car to move out, one Caucasian driver stopped next to my car and gave me a dirty look.

I went totally out of control for no reason! I jumped out of my seat and tried to chase him down but lost the direction as the car park was only one way and I was trying to run up and then cut him off. I felt he was impatient and did not need to give me that dirty look.

As my wife and kids looked at my reaction in utter disbelief and horror, it suddenly dawned on me that I had reacted in the most irrational i.e. emotional manner for something that could have been dismissed as 'par for course' in an urban city where everyone seems to be rushing to somewhere for no good reason!

Maybe that man was in a hurry to get to the hospital and a 10-second delay may be critical. Maybe he did not realized I was 'slow' as I allowed the pregnant lady and her spouse to walk across the path in front of my car.

It is scary to think what the situation could had become IF I had got my direction right while running in the car park trying to cut that Caucasian man off and confront him.

My raging question was: What is the hurry? Why did you give me that 'dirty' look? And to be truthful, I was out of control and might jolly well had initiated physical contact with his car by kicking a door down or get beaten up by him if he is bigger and reacted to my 'provocation'!

As the blood cool down, as emotion eased out of me, I felt disappointed with myself. Where is the 'take a deep breath and count to 10' to calm yourself down before reacting routine that I preached to others? What happened to my sermon on: 'if you are right you DO NOT have to be anger!' asked my son!! What about the anxiety I caused to them when I reacted in such an irrational manner?

So, I am thankful that nothing really happened except I blown a fuse. I learned again that I MUST be MINDFUL of practising what I preached. I MUST remember this.

A lifelong learning experience.