Daily Lessons from Life 28 June 2014 - Don't overlook role of student in teacher misconduct

"Don't overlook role of student in teacher misconduct - http://www.straitstimes.com/premium/forum-letters/story/dont-overlook-role-student-teacher-misconduct-20140628#sthash.qSIPdnvJ.dpuf

Was reading this published forum letter in ST via the ST pushed email and could not help but to give my input to the issue.

The letter writer's opinion about the need to look at the role of student in cases where the teacher took advantage of the students sexually need to be put into some perspective.

So, here are my comments in the ST Forum reply:

"Dear ST (and Ms Ada)

It is good that ST has published previous letters that admonished the poor judgement and bad behaviours of teachers who took advantage of the vulnerable young impressionable students sexually.

The publishing of Ms Ada's letter is perhaps an act of trying to be impartial and let the other school of thoughts writers to have their opinions heard in ST.

Fair and good.

However, I disagreed with Ms Ada's points of view and those who hold similar views. hence, there is a need to share my views on this issue:

1. the difference BETWEEN an adult, and a person who had been entrusted the authority and honour to teach/guide/protect young students under their charge at all time, and a young impressionable 'reaching puberty' and emotional student MUST be VERY CLEAR to the ADULT, especially a TEACHER!

There is NO ROO...M for mistake here. The TEACHER must be in control and know what are the RIGHT THINGS to do ALWAYS. I hate to use the words 'always' and 'never' but this is ONE situation where the TEACHER must know what is the RIGHT THINGS to do ALWAYS.

That is: to refer the student to trained counsellor or their DOH or Principals.

Reason: emotional issue is difficult to handle. Trained help helped!

So, I CANNOT agree with the notion that the victimised students' roles as noted in Ms Ada's letter.

2. what are needed on a holistic basis to prevent future recurrences are:
2.1 the students
- be aware of WHO they can approach in school with such issue;
- the 'who' must be someone who is open-minded, well trained, and do not pass judgement on the students so that the students WILL approach him or her for help;
- make it easier for the students to approach this 'who' in an easy, safe and private manner.

Notes: kids in this situation are 'normally' confused (a bit or a lot) and emotionally unstable and quick to grab to the first safety log that float along in the big troubled ocean.

Also, it is likely that they are not sure how to approach their parents, assuming they have a good harmonious relationship to begin with.

2.2 the home
- with this hectic lifestyle of modern Singapore parents and families, training if you like on how to have 'short quality time with the kids after a tiring work' must be a skill learned by ALL working parents.

- with teenagers, many parents are at a loss on how to communicate with them let alone being allowed into their 'personal &/or sexual relationship issue'. So, parents can become MORE AWARE and be more observant of their kids' behaviours, especially recent violent mood-swing.

- same as the 'who in the school can the kids confine to', the parents must be open-minded and not too quick to judge, this is especially though for the parents, so that they kids KNOW that when they 'spill their guts out', there will be calm and reason discussion instead of 'hysteria and blaming and accusation' flying around.

3. the schools
- be on the look out for the possibilities of such students in the school;
- set up the 'counselling' process w ith focus on safety, confidentiality and privacy;
- have clear 'who you can confine to' person and how it will be handled widely circulate and made known to the kids;
- trained the 'who you can confirm to' person(s) and ALL teachers on how to look out for such students.

ONLY with this HOLISTIC approach can we at least try to help the kids who are open to SO MANY sources on sexual matters - publicly on TV and internet and many other means - to cope with such issues.

At least when they DO CONFINE in TEACHERS, they WILL NOT be exploited.

Remember, they are kids while TEACHERS are grown adults. Forget about the exceptional 'true emotional connection between the specific teacher and the specific student'. We are creating a workable overall solution here.

Don't BLAME nobody IF we do not take ACTIONS covering ALL the potential root causes.

Yours faithfully
LU Keehong Mr."