Daily Lessons from Life 17-18 October 2012 in USA - Parents: They are stupid, disgraceful and selfish

"Parents: They are stupid, disgraceful and selfish - The Star/Asia News Network Oct 19, 2012

PETALING JAYA - Stupid, disgraceful and selfish. These were words used by parents to describe how they felt about sex blog couple Alvin Tan and Vivian Lee.

A father of a 20-year-old girl even said he would castrate Tan if his daughter were the law student's girlfriend.

The reactions were not surprising and clearly underscored the different moral values of the older generation versus the younger ones.

It's a cry for attention: Psychiatrist

MCA Complaints Bureau head Datuk Seri Michael Chong, who has handled numerous cases involving sexual impropriety, found the couple's posting of photos and videos of them having sex on a blog bizarre and described their actions as "stupid".

"It brings shame to their families, relatives and friends. I feel very sorry for their parents. How are they going to face other people now?

He wondered if the couple were under the influence of drugs when they recorded and posted videos of their sexual acts because, "it is hard to believe that anyone with a sound mind would do such a thing".

"What Alvin and Vivian have done is shocking, and it is clear that they did not think about the consequences their actions will bring on their families," said Noor Azimah, who is also the Parent Action Group for Education (PAGE) president.

Businessman Caleb Lee, 52, who has a teenage daughter and son, asked the couple to put themselves in their parents' shoes.

"If I ever meet Alvin and Vivian, I will ask them, 'If your roles with your parents were reversed, or if it were your parents who posted such pictures and videos, would you still be proud of what you did?'"

Shocking indeed to have a young couple doing this strange act!

Lessons for me are:

1. being a scholar has nothing to do with the actions. Academically qualified person does not mean he or she is morally 'correct'. This is especially so when the person thinks and believes that he or she is entitled to his or her own 'body and thinking' as long as they are not violating any law or harming anyone - parents' feelings they have no control over!;

2. while it is conventional wisdom to say how would their parents feel, etc, it will cut no ice with this couple. The psychiatrists are probably right that the act may be a cry for attention, and help? Maybe the other assertion that they may be under the influence of drug has some validity.

3. as to some young people see that there is nothing wrong with posting erotic stuffs on-line, a clear line MUST be established on what is the norm of the society that one lives in. If the young couple lives in a commune where sex is open and display of their sexual intercourse is par, fine and well. Nobody cares anyway in that social environment. BUT, not now. Not here. Hopefully never.

To the young couple's parents, it has nothing to do with you. It is them.