Daily Lesson from Life 15 February 2009

"India's bittersweet V-day

Increasingly popular celebration of love has sparked a bitter row about morals and modern life. -Sun, Feb 15, 2009 AFP

NEW DELHI, INDIA - LARGE numbers of young couples marked Valentine's Day in India this year despite the increasingly popular celebration of love sparking a bitter row about morals and modern life.


Several violent incidents were reported as romantics defied threats from Hindu extremists who condemn the festival as Western and decadent.

The controversy surrounding Valentine's Day erupted after Hindu vigilantes last month dragged young women out of a fashionable bar in the city of Mangalore, provoking a major public debate on values in India's fast-changing society.

Extra police patrols monitored shopping malls, restaurants and cinemas in cities on Saturday to protect couples from hardliners who had threatened to marry forcibly young people found together. Hundreds of Hindu activists were taken into preventive custody to prevent trouble but some fringe groups managed to unleash their fury on hapless lovers.

A brother and sister mistaken for a dating couple were attacked in Madhya Pradesh, police said, while elsewhere a policeman pulled a girl by her hair after she was found alone in a room with a boy.


Hindu radicals in the southern state of Karnataka barged into a corporate Valentine's Day party and ransacked the venue, injuring two people. Indian newspapers on Sunday reported hardliners blackening the faces of couples caught dating publicly, while extremists in Hyderabad forced one pair to exchange vows in a mock wedding ceremony.

In New Delhi, Hindu activists demonstrated outside a mall, destroying Valentine's Day cards, posters and banners. Protesters said exchanging gifts and kisses on Valentine's Day was a Western practice that corrupted traditional Indian values.

'Our culture is the greatest and we can't allow youngsters to ape the West and indulge in indecent acts like dating,' said Satish Mann, a member of the Bajrang Dal, one of the groups behind the threats and protests.
Despite the reports of so-called moral policing, newspapers hailed the day as mostly peaceful and lamented the actions of the protest groups.“

This is a very strange and emotional issue. Culture! That our culture is the greatest and CANNOT be allowed to be corrupted by Western practice!

Lessons for me are:

1. when extremists are allowed their way, there will not be rational and give-and-take discussion and consultation. There will be incomplete or impaired communication as the extremists will not listen. When one side does not listen or unwilling to listen, there cannot be agreement!;

2. when extremists are the minority, they can still exert great influence as they are the vocal minority and the silent majority allowed them! This is like the nay sayers about President Obama after the initial unenthusiastic response to his hard won $700+B stimuli package; they gives up too early and make the most noise when they are really the minority! So, the silent majority MUST exercise their rights and speak up!;

3. the extremists are actually NOT all wrong! Local culture that are good need to be preserved and encouraged and extended. However, those that are an improvement to the local culture, people must try to understand and absorb the good stuffs. e.g. dating in the open is a good practice for the couple to find themselves while kissing in public is probably not an acceptable behavior given the conservative nature of the local culture!

To progress and to change for the better, every culture need to be opened to other culture. As long as the majority of the people of that culture find the new or different behaviors to be acceptable, it is not for the vocal minority to impose their interpretation.

As leaders, you have to recognize when the silent majority kept quiet when they should be voicing their approval or disapproval; and take actions to encourage them to speak up over the noisy minority!