Daily Lessons from Life 16 August 2014 - ESM Goh worried people-govt bond "being loosened" in Singapore

"ESM Goh worried people-govt bond "being loosened" in Singapore - CNA 16 august 2014

SINGAPORE: Emeritus Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong on Saturday (Aug 16) raised concerns about the relationship between the people and the government.

Speaking a day ahead of the Prime Minister's National Day Rally, Mr Goh stressed that good bonding between both sides is a critical factor for a country's success. But he is also worried this bond "is being loosened" in Singapore.

Three other critical factors suggested by Mr Goh are having good leaders, good governance and good social cohesion.
Drawing parallels between parenting and governing, he stressed that good people-government rapport is one critical factor. He said: "We do not criticise our parents for their imperfections. We love them, warts and all. But we see only warts in the government and freely criticise it for its slightest mistakes or when we disagree with it. This state of relationship between the people and the government is part of the so-called New Normal."
"But if this New Normal leads to fractiousness, divisiveness and estrangement in the Singapore Family, then we will be undoing what the Pioneer Generation had painfully and diligently built over many decades," added Mr Goh.

"We still discuss and debate, consult and engage. But each group is now more assertive than before in pushing its point of view and vested interests. Each side does not want to give an inch without taking a quarter. The common space for Singaporeans is getting smaller instead of bigger," he said.

Mr Goh cautioned there will be a high price to pay for that. Hence, Singaporeans need to band together - with both the government and people doing their part.

"The government must pass the demanding parental test, which is to help the next generation succeed to the best of their capabilities. But the next generation, too, must pass the family test in building on what they have inherited. They must demand as much of themselves as they do of the government," he said."

Interesting to learn of ESM Goh's speech and some of his thoughts on certain issues before PM Lee's NDR Speech tomorrow.

Lessons for me are:

1. drawing the parallel between governing and parenting is not the best choice in today's world. When he said: "we love our parents warts and all" and this will be disputed by the younger generation who expects parents to be 'just a bit more than peers'. If their parents are right, they will agree and go along. If they feel and can justify that their parents are wrong, they will not go along but will try to 'correct' their parents' wayward ways! This is true for increasingly more and more young people who had, rightly or wrongly, 'acquired' the 'parents are not always right' mind-set and 'I have to think for myself' mind-set;

2. instead the 'balance parenting approach' would have been: "the parents will love their kids, warts and all and MORE!" This is obviously NOT the 'right' approach too as when the kids are wrong, the parents need to use a bit of tough love coupled with the 'soft' or 'right' approach to pass the message along. Ultimately, the errant children have to figure out for themselves IF their parents are right or wrong! Good independent thinking and decision making are the ULTIMATE gifts any parents should pass on to their children! If the kids make the wrong choices with dire consequences when they are adults, they simply just have to bear the consequences!;

3. alas, this is NOT ideal for Singapore. Given that the younger generation will MAKE more mistakes than the older generation IF they do not want to learn the painful mistakes made by their parents and predecessors, then the parents have to take charge. Yet, taking too much charge will render the younger generation unable to think independently and make the 'right' decisions. In this case, the most appropriate way forward is probably: more two way communication, listen to each other respectfully, explain as earnestly as possible when differences cannot be accommodated by the government, and then execute with full commitment and conviction while minimising the negative impact to those who were negatively impacted by the 'right' decision.

If parents are right, great. If not, point them out. If children are right, great. If not, point them out too!!

Be prepared to win over the majority. This is the reality. This is life.