Daily Lessons from Life 15 June 2009

"Mon, Jun 15, 2009 AsiaOne - S'poreans: Educated, but with poor upbringing

Singaporeans are educated, but they have poor upbringing.

That was the title of a blog post written by local deejay Anna Lim, reported Chinese daily Lianhe Wanhao.


Published last week, Anna admitted that the entry has the potential to offend many, but said that there was a pressing need to discuss the issue.

She told the newspaper: "Singaporeans reserve seats with tissue paper packets and they leave trash behind after gatherings. On the MRT, they do not give up their seats to the needy, neither do they allow alighting passengers to get off before squeezing their way into the carriage."

In her post, she pointed out that such behaviour was also evident in young children. Students compete both academically and in the sporting arena, "every one of them more fiercely competitive than the other", she said. "It certainly makes us afraid and it saddens their teachers," she said.

She also mentioned how two coaches were engaged in a fierce verbal tussle when one side lost in a badminton match. Commenting on the case, she stressed the importance of a good upbringing - It is perfectly acceptable to lose a game, but not one's values, she said."


Education does not mean gracefulness. Awareness of something does not mean that something will be done! Or do exactly the opposite of that something!!

Lessons for me are:

1. behaviors are developed and shaped by many factors over time. The best way to change behaviors is when the person realized the need to change and has the desire and determination to make that change. When that happened, he does not need to check if others are doing it or not. He does not need to worry about if others are taking advantage of him or not. It is purely a personal choice and he has total control over it!!;

2. what need to happen next is to take the ACTIONs required to change! No matter how little that action maybe. As long as new actions are taken, new behaviors start to appear, and over time and with repetitions of the same, a habit has the chance of being developed! So, think of a change action to take and JUST DO IT!!;

3. the most powerful motivation to change is personal desire to want to change. At the same time, we recognized that external factors like environment, recognition by others, etc also play significant influences over the person. So, the leaders must provide resources to meet the auxiliary motivational needs of the people who wanted to change for the better. It is important to find out what do each of the desired in order to change so that there is NO mismatch of needs and the fulfillment of the same. i.e. one man's meat is another man's poison!

For Singaporeans and those who lived here, there is no point looking to others to decide if you should be graceful or otherwise. There will be conflicting and confusing signals as each has his reason NOT to be graceful. It is up to you. You have the most control over your own actions!!